230303 Raven Newsletter

HAIL GFOP!

I type with fingers braced for Darkness. Everton, the team I love, are flailing. I have few super powers, but one my wife marvels at is that I always remember every dream, and they are all so bloody literal. Last night, I had a nightmare in which Frank Lampard led a team against Everton. In the dream, it was not clear which team Frank managed exactly, but they were a fellow relegation struggler. This was the Daddy of Six Pointers. And Lamps rolled into Goodison Park with his woeful mob and thrashed us. Even Frank smashed us. And because this was a dream, the defeat happened over and over again on repeat. A night of restless sleep and true torment. That is my state of mind as I type.

When Everton were wrecked by Arsenal midweek, I was on a flight. Taxi-ing on the runway. We looked so good. So compact. We had chances. Forty minutes in, the plane trundled down the runway and took off, with the game still scoreless and the Arsenal faithful starting to become anxious. I lost wi-fi connection for a mere five minutes. When we hit 10,000 feet, I eagerly logged back in and somehow Everton were confused and bedraggled, 2-0 down and the Emirates was rocking. I guess what I am asking is this: Was it all my fault? 💔

One joy from my week: Your reaction to my conversation with Premier League Poet Laureate Peter Drury. This hour-long sitdown went by in the blink of an eye. Peter is so down-to-earth, it is almost as if he doesn't realize the role he plays in our lives. That his voice is the sound that floats through American living rooms, basements, and kitchens every Saturday and Sunday morning as we drink in the game we love. In this conversation, we retrace his career arc, the role commentary plays in our lives as fans, and our favorite Peter Drury calls of all time, including one you may have heard before. So many of you have reached out to us to describe how Peter’s story has impacted you. Several of you have handed in your resignation letters as you, like him, have decided to pursue your true dream. Let us know how it all goes. Courage.

2. To the Football

i. Manchester City vs. Newcastle (Saturday, 7.30 AM ET, USA)

The Gulf Derby. Two clubs who hope to tear at opponents with the ferocity and tactical savvy their teams of lawyers fight charge after charge in the courtroom. The reverse fixture ended 3-3. City will be desperate to prevent Arsenal’s heels from heading towards the horizon. Newcastle stagger in after last week’s flat Wembley defeat in that Cup O’Carabao. They are also braced for turbulence ahead. Yes, the rest of the Premier League teams are reportedly furious at news emerging from the LIV Golf-PGA court case in which legal filings describe Newcastle chairman, Yasir al-Rumayyan, as “a sitting minister of the Saudi government.” PIF was an instrument of the Saudi State after all? Count me, for one, amongst the shocked. It seems the Premier League was given assurances at the time of takeover which turned out not to be true. How were they ever to know? This matter will now apparently be discussed by the Premier League shareholders meeting on March 30. The Premier League and Newcastle have made no comment. The league’s chief executive, Richard Masters, told the BBC in November 2021 that if his organization found evidence there was state involvement in the running of Newcastle, “we can remove the consortium as owners of the club.”

More: Angry Premier League clubs demand talks over Newcastle’s ownership.

ii. Arsenal vs. Bournemouth (Saturday, 10 AM ET, P'Cock)

After exacting midweek vengeance upon Everton on a scale known only to Liam Neeson in Taken 1, 2, and 3, the lead over Manchester City is up to five points with 13 games to play. Fulham, Liverpool, and Newcastle are sprinkled in the opponents still to come. The game in hand is no longer. City away on 26 April still looms. But… but… the ineffable – title glory – is starting to feel so very real. A season of unfathomable joy symbolized by the fact that both Bukayo Saka and Gabriel Martinelli have hit the 10 goal mark. Each a burst of wonder. Arsenal are the only team to have two gents in double figures. Even more remarkable when you realize that they have been without Gabriel Jesus since the World Cup. Their first choice striker who was somewhat of an assist machine and without whom they were meant to wilt. And both men are just 21. Dream Big Dreams Arsenal fans.

iii. Chelsea vs. Leeds (Saturday, 10 AM ET, USA)

The Real Club America head down to London to face a reportedly fit Christian Pulisic who is back with a beard that makes him look like the bastard offspring of Jorginho and Havertz. Will he take the field so we can see a repeat of their heartwarming post-match conversation in which they all talk with hands over mouths in that way that only elite footballers do? After losing in the FA Cup midweek, Javi Gracia will hope his new manager bounce lasts more than one game. Todd Boehly will hope Enzo Fernandez can win his first game since being exchanged for an enormous pile of cash. He will have to do it without Thiago Silva, Chelsea’s rock and savior, out for six weeks with a knee injury. How to replace the irreplaceable? Chalobah is out of favor. Badiashile has looked raw and Kalidou Koulibaly a bust.

More: Tyler Adams and Weston McKennie have been cooking at Leeds. I meant that literally.

iv. Wolves vs. Tottenham (Saturday, 10 AM ET, P’Cock)

Peak Tottenham has been achieved: Tottenham Hotspur boss Antonio Conte has been nominated for Premier League manager of the month for February, despite only being on the touchline for his side's 4-1 defeat against Leicester City.

v. Nottingham Forest vs. Everton (Sunday, 9 AM ET, USA)

Everton wobble pathetically into the Rog-Ariel Helwani Derby after Arsenal broke us. Forest may have been smashed themselves by lowly West Ham last weekend, but we are another level of Mid entirely. We have scored 17 goals in 25 games. Everton Premier League goals going the way of unicorns, dodos, and the Woolly Mammoth. I have come to see the trauma of this season as if Everton are one of the world’s worst jam bands, and watching them is having to witness them noodle on an extended improvisation on their one song “Woeful, Uninspired, Miserable Mediocrity.” The four-point gap between us and Forest, who thrive at home, seems chasmic. I fear I will be channeling Jake Paul come full-time, and telling myself that humiliating defeat does not matter, because “I’ve already won at life.” 😭

More: On Everton and goals, or lack of them.

vi. Liverpool vs. Manchester United (Sunday, 11.30 AM ET, USA)

Liverpool host Erik ten Hag’s surging United, who arrive at Anfield knowing they have not won there for over seven long years. Jurgen Klopp called Casemiro, Fred et al. a “Results Machine” and is aware they will charge in fearlessly, wielding their shiny new Carabao Cup as if it is the Ark of the Covenant. Liverpool fans will pray their team have turned another corner, and are doing more than merely circling the block. A midweek win against Wolves, which saw glimpses of the slick back-to-front football which once sank all-comers, has propelled the Reds into sixth place and restored a bubble of hope. Key has been the restored confidence of Mo Salah who has now, quietly but astonishingly, hit 20 goals in each of his six seasons at Liverpool. He has blasted an incredible nine times in his last five games against United.

More: Casemiro is Manchester United’s game-changing catalyst reminiscent of Cantona.

More: Full Premier League broadcast schedule here

3. Men In Blazers: Behind the Musty Curtain 💙💩

Bar Everton, things in our world are gorgeous. (I know that is akin to saying, “besides the woeful unceasing pain and agony, everything is peachy.”) We had 36 hours in the magnificent city of Atlanta this week meeting with partners to build out our Women’s World Cup realities and understand how we can most effectively bring the narratives of the tournament to you all. I find being in Atlanta so energizing. The sense of self-confidence it draws from its own singularity that wafts over the city in the way Miggy Almiron’s cologne once did.

ii. 🗣️This week has been dominated by shooting the pilot for Herc Gomez’s new podcast Vamos! presented by Bud Light which launches next week. The show is designed to cover every important storyline emerging from our Magical Kingdom of CONCACAF and has been a delight to work on with a really smart team led by Producer Juan Castro.

iii. We also taped a pair of conversations that were a slice of wonder: JJ Watt going deep on Chelsea, and, in what I think is one of the most important pods we will tape this year, Canadian phenom Janine Beckie spent an early morning with me to talk through the agony and challenge of the Olympic Gold Medal-Winning Canadian Women’s Team’s fight for equality against their own federation, Canada Soccer. This conversation provides context and backstory, as well as takes us inside the mind of an elite athlete who essentially has a second full-time job: fighting her own employer for equal rights. LISTEN HERE. Janine Beckie is a great Canadian. To all in Canada and around the world fighting this fight, Love and Courage.

iii. THIS WEEK ON THE MEN IN BLAZERS YOUTUBE CHANNEL: Our interview with Weston McKennie's piano teacher, aka The Lumineers’ Jeremiah Fraites. A Jersey-born gent from one of the biggest bands in the world talks marrying into Juventus fandom and what kind of piano player Weston really could be. WATCH HERE. Also on our channel this week, A FULL MEN IN BLAZERS PODCAST ON VIDEO. We are putting so much content on our YouTube channel these days. Subscribe. Subscribe. For the love of Mike Dean... SUBSCRIBE.

iv. Talking of subscribing. If you like this newsletter, check out our new American States United Newsletter, a weekly roundup of how our best and brightest performed in the world's biggest leagues. Flies every Wednesday. For free Men in Blazers swag, be sure to check out the referral program this week's upcoming missive. SUBSCRIBE HERE.

🍻 Next week we film with the mighty Chris Richards and one of the greatest managers ever to take the field.

4. More Football Did Ya Say?

i. One of the greatest FA Cup shocks of all time: Fourth-tier Grimsby Town defeated Southampton 2-1 to advance to the quarterfinals of the FA Cup. The Mariners did it with community spirit and a lot of fish. Their mascot is "HARRY THE HADDOCK," an inflatable fish that thousands of fans have been bringing to games since the '80s. More here.

ii. Fascinating read: The Unlikely British Superfans of MLS. Delighted to have to get my head round this concept to be part of the article. Mind-bending tbh.

iii. Important but harrowing: Why Spanish Society and Football tolerates constant racism towards Vinicius Jr.

iv. Incredible 1981 football video by The Commodores. Where does it rank as a great moment in American Men’s football history? (Thanks to GFOP @NMWise for sending this my way.)

5. Not Football, and All the Better for it

i. Important thread of US Presidents with mullets. Truman with mullet is a dead ringer for mid-career Sean Penn and honestly I'm not mad about it.

iii. Disney loving man smashes record by visiting Disneyland 2,995 days in a row. Taking his life in his own hands I'd say.

iii. National Park Service: 'Never push a slower friend down' in a bear encounter. Do you guys also feel like a lot of our federal institutions are getting really flip with guidance recently?

iv. Seal pup returned to water after crossing busy New Jersey road. Most people don't know that New York harbor's seal population has rebounded exponentially in the past couple years thanks to many decades of work de-polluting the water. I don't have a joke here I just think it's great!!

v. What time is it on moon? Europe pushing for lunar time zone. I have no beef with Europe generally but if they try to tell me what time it is on the moon they should prepare for war.

vi. The seaside Italian town obsessed with baseball. This is the kind of charming foreign reporting we need to see more of going forward.

vii. Everything You Never Thought to Ask About In-flight Entertainment. I actually did think to ask why they won't let you log into your own streaming accounts but no one from the FAA has gotten back to me.

viii. When Songs Sound Similar, Courts Look for Musical DNA. Musical DNA feels like something Billy Ray Cyrus would have claimed about himself around 1995. And he would have been absolutely right.

ix. Should a workplace have a soundtrack? Back when Men in Blazers used to share office space with Watch What Happens Live early in our existence, they would blare Top 40 girlpop from 1-2pm every day, which I think goes a long way to explaining some of the more perplexing eccentricities in our work product around that time.

x. 2007 unopened iphone just sold for $63k. If any of you guys want to buy the unboxed 2005 iBook that has been sitting in my grandfather's office for 18 years I'm starting the bidding at 50k. Email [email protected].

xii. Flamingos form friendship groups based on their personalities, study shows. Tradcath e-girl flamingos terrorizing downtown watering holes all across the Americas.

xiii. How a Pseudo-Secret, Celeb-Friendly Poker Game Became the Art World’s Playground. Rarely has a news story begged so intensely to be made into an Ocean's 11 sequel.

xiv. The Chicken and the Baby: M*A*S*H's Final Episode. Matt Zoller Seitz on the 40th anniversary of the MASH finale, a gorgeous piece of television that still sends shivers up my spine every time I think about it.

That is it for today. Pray for me. Remember. Everybody cries sometimes. Everybody hurts. And by sometimes, I mean at 10.40 AM ET on Sunday.

Let’s make great memories through football together.

Big Love

Courage

ROG