230127 Raven Newsletter

HAIL GFOP!

I type with fingers crackling with relief. No Everton game this weekend. Five of the sweetest words in the English language. Not going to lie. It has been a hard week filled with gut punches and occasional tears. One in which I feel like everything I care about has turned to stone. Everton Football Club. US Soccer. OK. Two things. But it hurts. It hurts so good. We will break all of it down in the paragraphs below and revel in the fact that Sean Dyche is expected to be named Everton’s streetwise Hercules. Who will fight the rising odds.

The highlight of my week came Wednesday morning when I filmed our “MiB Half Season O’ Misery Deep Dive” with the mighty John Oliver. One of this campaign’s true ironies that even Alanis Morissette would appreciate is that Liverpool’s stall-out of a season has been shocking to witness. Yet, Everton fans are in such a death plunge of their own, that they cannot even appreciate it. The conversation was long and comprehensive. Let’s just say, we went deep on Jack Grealish. I can’t wait for you to hear it in the middle of next week.

A New Ginger Era at Everton

All Hail Sean Dyche. The Bielsa dalliance was darling yet always doomed. What else do Everton need in their moment of darkness other than a worm-munching, gravel-chewing, Klopp-baiting, Brexit-Ball Warrior. I, for one, welcome our new Ginger Overlord. No. 1: He knows Everton’s weaknesses. Last April when his Burnley came back from a 2-1 halftime deficit to shock Everton in a crucial relegation squeaky bum clash, he revealed later that his halftime team talk had been simply, "I'm not sure Everton know how to win a game, lads." It hurt at the time. But, he is not wrong.

We are a proud club. We are a historic club. But right now, we are in a brutal fight for our very survival and we are bleeding out. One win in 14. Insipid losses against Wolves, Southampton, and West Ham. Fellow relegation battlers, all of whom have re-armed in the transfer window. We have not. The board is flailing, seemingly penniless and borderline negligent. The squad is filled with the dispirited, deadwood, and wantaways. The football has been humiliatingly unbalanced and tactically woeful. In walks a man whose footballing philosophy is simple: “I want the fans to know they will have a team that's going to give everything, a team that’s going to work, a team that’s got a heart.” That is all I have ever wanted as an Everton fan. I know my team are not going to win them all. But those are the non-negotiables. A team that care as much as the fans who adore this club, and will fight for it.

It is so funny to admit this: It has been an agony to watch the team I love this season. Not only lose, but eat itself, as the board, not fit for service, have lurched the club into civil war. Watching the West Ham game felt like all hope was lost. Arsenal and Liverpool await on the fixture list. Yet, enter Sean Dyche. And I suddenly feel a surging hope that fills my veins and makes me believe that everything – EVERYTHING – is possible. It’s not. Yet that is the irrational hilarity of sports fandom.

I covered the meltdown of the club I love in great depth on Wednesday night’s Do it Live!, apparently upsetting the children of a number of listeners with the depths of my despondency. Everton will do that to you.

By the way. Anthony Gordon. Let him go. We had the best of him. His Ginger Days. The blonde years are inauthentic and will be very, very Ross Barkley-esque.

Let’s do this. Let’s have a week of training in which we run through fire and mud, and bare knuckle box, and are sleep deprived, and do keg stands, then master the art of forging passports, and learn where the skull is thinner around the temples making that area more vulnerable to a stray elbow. Watch out, Arsenal. I now feel we are going to do you. Think about this: Can you imagine what that first meeting between Sean Dyche and Dominic Calvert-Lewin is going to be like?

2. To the Football. Are You Ready for Some FA Cup Football? 🏆️

i. Manchester City vs. Arsenal (TODAY at 3 PM ET on ESPN+)

Sorcerer hosts league-leading apprentice in a fascinating prequel to February and April’s two epic Premier League rumbles. Yes, it is just the FA Cup, but this clash, undoubtedly a tribute to the FA’s continued use of hotballs to rig their draw, will present a fascinating philosopher’s conundrum for Mikel Arteta: The FA Cup used to be one of Arsenal’s best opportunities to win silverware. Not this season. To what extent does he rise to the challenge of “sending signals,” and unleashing the hounds on his former mentor. To what extent does he keep his eyes on the true Promised Land of the title race? Either way, let’s all agree to lose our minds and read far, far too much into it? OK.

More: Miguel Delaney on the secret of Arsenal’s success: The American sports notion of a rebuilding “fallow” season.

ii. Accrington vs. Leeds United (Saturday, 7.30 AM on ESPN+) 🇺🇸

A massive banana skin of a challenge for Jesse Marsch, who must take his buccaneering but vulnerable Leeds to a League One opponent, the 'Owd Reds, who play at the Wham Stadium and will pack the backline, sit deep, and fling the ball forward whenever they can. Win, or Chris Armas’ tenure as assistant manager could be a very, very short one. I loved how when Jesse was asked why Armas, he replied: “First, maybe it'll take away the Ted Lasso moniker from me and give it to him - that might be better!”

The game takes place as news continues to swirl of Weston McKennie’s imminent arrival. I loved @Meg_Swanick’s tweet “At what point do we all just move to Leeds?”

iii. Preston vs. Tottenham (Saturday 1 PM ET on ESPN+)

Harry Kane against lower league opposition. There will be few better opportunities for him to score the goal which will ease him past the great Jimmy Greaves to become Tottenham’s all-time leading goalscorer. An incredible feat for a gent who has had every reason to decamp, yet stayed true and scored goal after goal while seeing Fire, seeing Rain, and seeing Son Heung-Min Days he thought would never end. Sorry.

If you want to gain a sense of the inimitable Jimmy Greaves – a sense of the goal machine turned cautionary tale turned born-again iconic broadcaster, take a few moments to watch this. Legend.

iv. Brighton vs. Liverpool (Sunday 8.30 AM ET on ESPN+)

Angst for Jurgen Klopp as he is forced to return to the scene of a trauma. The Amex Stadium. Where two weeks ago, his Liverpool experienced a 3-0 defeat which he proclaimed this morning to be, “Still the worst game I have ever seen a team of mine play.” Jurgen Klopp will pray that after a numbing 0-0 draw with Chelsea, he can ride Stefan Bajcetic’s teenage midfield energy and emerge with dignity and hope intact in the name of progress. With Real Madrid awaiting in the Champions League, the FA Cup may be Liverpool’s best hope of silverware this season.

More: Rest of the FA Cup Broadcast Schedule including Wrexham v Sheffield United, Sunday 11.30 AM ET.

3. US Soccer’s Night of the Long Knives 🇺🇸😢

The coordinated ripple effects of the Berhalter-Reyna feud continue to reverberate. A blast which is taking everyone within its radius out.Yesterday felt like a climactic Scorcese scene in which Layla screams in the background as every member of a criminal gang is whacked, each one in ever more gruesome ways than the last. Brian McBride gone as USMNT General Manager. Earnie Stewart gone as USMNT Director of Football. Austin FC saw Claudio Reyna resign as sporting director. Why now, and in such a rush, with no transition plan whatsoever? You would almost think some report – perhaps still in draft form – is doing the rounds and the actions are being taken before its release rather than in the wake of it.

For more, listen to THIS EMERGENCY POD I recorded immediately after hopping off US Soccer’s hurriedly convened conference call yesterday morning. Make no mistake: these are times of true challenge for US Soccer. Yet, I do believe trouble is always opportunity. This is a moment for the organization to live out the values it professes and to move quickly with transparency and strategy. While this has historically not been a strong suit under previous regimes, President Cindy Parlow Cone talked yesterday about change and a clean slate. Will this be her moment?

The regrettable agony of all of this: The narrative of the beginning of this 2026 World Cup cycle in which the US will host the tournament will forever be stained by this origin story. I feel for the US Women too, who should have all focus on them as they prepare to defend their title. One note to US Soccer as they search for a Director of Football: Dane Murphy is available.

More: Earnie Stewart to leave U.S. Soccer, a move that deepens USMNT uncertainty

b. Watch our Boys: US Soccer’s January Camp Team face Colombia Saturday 7.30 PM ET on HBO MAX. Tune in to marvel at Slonina, and Vazquez, and find someone who loves you as much as Cade Cowell loves hitting the post. And we will Do it Live! In the wake of that game against Colombia. Download the AMP app, or listen on your desktop via this link and come be with us.

4. Men In Blazers World Headquarters keeps Churning Out Da Crap

i. What a week at Men in Blazers World Headquarters. Tuesday, we were honored to drop a Tim Ream Pod Special, Presented by the GFOPs at Camarena Tequila, the Most Awarded Tequila. An hour-long conversation between Rog and the 35-year-old Fulham and USMNT bedrock. A gent who went from training with tennis balls in a Saint Louis warehouse to global football's biggest stage. So much to unpack here: his exile from the USMNT, why he didn't immediately jump at the chance to play in a World Cup, and mighty Fulham's season of wonder. Do yourself a favor and LISTEN HERE.

ii. We also have a video version of the interview AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW on our YouTube page. We are putting so much content up on our YouTube right now, including a pair of joyous interviews with Bukayo Saka and Trent Alexander-Arnold. Watch. Share. And SUBSCRIBE, SUBSCRIBE, SUBSCRIBE.

iii. We're also on TikTok. Follow us HERE for new videos every day. Only a matter of time before The Rog is the latest TikTok Dance Craze. Spoiler: It's just crying into the couch.

iv. If you like this newsletter, you may also want to check out our 🇺🇸American States United Newsletter🇺🇸 which flies every Wednesday. This week, we talked Weston McKennie to Leeds rumors and Gio's spite scoring. Read and SUBSCRIBE.

5. More Football Did Ya Say?

i. The Englishman who went from Tottenham and Liverpool to become director of performance analysis for Morocco and help pave their Miracle Run.

ii. New Favorite Team? Everton legend Duncan Ferguson has become manager of League One environmental warriors Forest Green who are vegan only and models of sustainable practice. Cue the hardman fielding questions of the environment at his first interview and sounding more like a bewildered Begbie from Trainspotting than a Scottish Greta Thunberg. This is amazing.

iii. Real Madrid’s Vinicius Jr. had the greatest response after a horrific incident yesterday in Spain: He delivered a dagger of a goal to close out a 2 -1 Copa del Rey quarterfinal victory against Atletico Madrid after an effigy of the star had been hanged from a bridge in Madrid prior to the match. This whole incident is sickening and a reminder that football holds up a mirror to the society that surrounds it – in this case the reflection is truly, truly searing.

6. Not Football and All the Better for It

i. Why Is Smiling So Rare in Old Photographs? In the words of Victoria Beckham, they had a responsibility to the fashion community.

ii. How These Dog Walkers Make Over $100,000 a Year. Pay the dogs too you cowards!!!

iii. How the Mafia Wars Devastated 1980s Sicily. White Lotus season two prequel.

iv. A priest claims to have visited hell where he saw demons singing Rihanna. Extremely convinced that they play Rihanna in heaven too and just couldn't figure out how to decouple the speaker systems when they were setting it all up.

v. Scientists Made a Liquid Metal Robot That Can Escape a Cage Like a Terminator. I guess that's cool or whatever but have you ever seen an octopus unscrew itself out of a glass jar?? Dope.

vi. Mini-bottles of Fireball Cinnamon don’t actually contain whisky and it’s led to a lawsuit. To be honest, if you're drinking a mini gas station bottle of fireball it sort of feels like you brought this on yourself.

vii. This Maine home can stay 70 degrees without a furnace, even when it's freezing outside. Can someone buy this for my parents so I can start going to visit them again?

viii. Woman, 29, arrested after enrolling at New Jersey high school posing as student. Seems like a double standard that when the police do it they get a classic 80s tv series, when Drew Barrymore does it she gets a first kiss, and yet when this lady does it all she gets is arrested smh.

Ix. Confessions of an OnlyFans Ghostwriter. Shoutout to all ghostwriters out there you are doing God's work.

x. Why we all need subtitles now. In the war on sound mixing we all lose.

xii. Bournemouth homeowner's fury as sofa left wedged in stairs. I can't explain why but it strikes me as a bad sign that life has started imitating Friends episodes.

xiii. Best music to help you fall asleep? Spotify study recommends listening to Billie Eilish and BTS. Not really in the habit of giving out good advice in this section but I would say probably try some whale sounds or falling rain before going straight for the k-pop?

xiv. ‘Use That Time As a Meditation Time’: The MTA’s New, Very Long Escalators. Very Long Escalators is the name of my elevator muzak cover band. Watch this space for upcoming gig dates.

xv. What am I reading? I loved Slow Horses so much, I am reading the books behind the series. Tell me I am wrong? Greatest TV Show since Gomorrah?

That is it for today. I leave you with a letter sent to [email protected] that has been on my mind since it arrived:

From Edward Isabella in Burbank, CA: “Longtime fan of the show with a question about whether you’ve discussed what happens if Everton goes down? Will Rog have to get relegated from the pod? Maybe Producer JDubs or Herc Gomez gets a promotion up into the co-host slot? If this happens, you’d still have to let Rog come back for a regular “Championship Chat” segment every couple of weeks or so, just so we can keep tabs on how Everton is coping.

Edward. We play Dyche Ball now. IT AIN’T HAPPENING BABY. WE ARE STAYING UP. WE ARE STAYING UP.

To Life; To Love; To Footballing Delusion,

Big Love

Courage

ROG